PEACE AND TRANQUILITY

If you know him, you know he is not really the one that dwell much about family.  Family would be the last thing he would go to if he is in any need of help.  The first time I met with his parent and sister, they are one very quiet and distinct bunch.  It is an uncommon thing for me as I am so used to the idea 'yin' and 'yang' in a relationship.  Like mak and abah.  There would be one very noisy person, and one who would listen.  There would be one with the quick tempered mood, and one with calmness.  When one speak, the other one listens.  When one is hot, the other one cools.  That kind of thing.

Upon meeting them, I can't help but to marvel at how they even function as a family.

We had the most interesting discussion that night after that short meeting.  He opens up his idea of an ideal family unit, and it impresses me.  He does have that soft-spot for his family, after all.

He cancelled our meet-up tonight.  His father just passed away.  Just a few hours after he landed at KL after a full week back at hometown.  He's going back there again for another week to help out with the funeral arrangements.

I can never tell him how deeply sorry I am for his situation.  I can never tell that I know his feeling, when I don't.  I have never loss someone very dear to me as he recently did.  The closest I had with losing someone close to me is upon abah telling me about his cancer -- and when my cat passed away 4 years ago.  It's painful, but I can never get the degree of pain he might be feeling.

He admitted that he don't really have a strong bond with his father -- which is unlikely with the mother.  Yet, the father is still a family after all, and as I said earlier, his family is indeed a soft spot in his heart.

I didn't stop him from puffing his ciggie this time.  I didn't talk him into a deep conversation this time.  I just can never get over that image of his pair of eyes, all tearful without any tears.  The crevices on his forehead and the corner of his eyes is just heartbreaking.  The crack in his voice upon mentioning his father is rare.

I can only look at it, listen at him -- observing him... yet I may never understand the pain he's feeling.

My heart goes out to him.  Deepest condolences from the bottom of my heart.  Al-Fatihah.