Hello hello, awak ada lagi tak?

I know I was supposed to say goodbye to this blog on Nov 23, 2011. But, I ended up creating a new blog as I'm actually 'eff-ed' with psychotic stalkers that made me feel like I don't deserve a valid space for my own voice. Back then, I felt that I missed blabbering about 'sentimental' stuff -- that's the reason for 'jumping ship' at that time -- and that's how "kasutcrocodilemerah" were created.

The other blog -- in turn makes me a very melancholic person. Yes, I am always melancholic -- but being too immersed with the inner emotions -- at one point -- makes me feel pretty annoyed with myself. Haha. So, I stopped blogging there. And it so happens that I click this page -- and realised how much I missed my quirky self here. So I figured -- why not revive it?

And -- here I am!!

Frankly, I really missed that amazing stranger who keeps giving me positive vibe on most of my entries here. Not sure if he/she still drops by this space as I once locked it for viewing. But, then, if he/she is still around, buzz me. I would like to shout to him/her : 

Hello hello, awak ada lagi tak?? 

Well -- the beauty of blogging is when you are acquainted with other people who may or may not share the same point of view, eventhough you never know them in real life. I would say it's the beauty of online socialising. 

So --- what has happen for the past 2 and a half years?

Hmm.. A LOT.

Like -- I finally broke up with the long-time partner. It almost destroyed me. Making that decision at the point where I really cherished him -- but at the back of my mind -- I somehow felt that it is not going anywhere. It's a roller coaster dealing with that situation -- knowing that you would not have anybody to be by your side to chill you.

And how wrong was I. Somebody new came into my life -- literally -- at a very short time. Sometimes dalam kepala rasa -- dudeeee, slow dowwwnn, this is too fast, too fast! And all I knew later, I met his family, he met with my family, mutual agreement -- gadabing gadaboong -- we'll be tying the knot at the end of this year, Insya Allah. Doakan yang terbaik aja, ok! 

Of course he have issues of his own -- so am I. The most strenuous phase of relationship is the first 1-2 years -- trying to adjust to one another. Heck -- the reason why I keep going back to my ex back then is because of this -- the fear of the first 1-2 years of relationship. It's hard. Tapi alhamdulillah, bickering and ill feelings are settled almost immediately before it became too deep.

Another reason why I need to start blogging again is because I need to sit for another English test. This space really helped me with my writing and communication skill. My career are taking me to different places -- dan insya Allah, will need to settle abroad for the next 3.5 years.

So -- life has been quite tight. With the wedding arrangements, preparing for my PhD, flying -- pheeeeewwwwwww... Seriously, never in my entire life I thought I would have this kind of opportunity. Not marriage, and not even staying abroad.

Till then -- salam Ramadhan.