I am not an avid news reader. I can live without being updated with what's going on in the world. In fact, once, I got a headache after reading the newspaper, that I just stopped reading one. Yes, I am one ignorant bitch.
News are normally filled with bad news. Either it's about war, or murder, or accidents, or the quarrel between parliament members, or the illegitimate renounce of marriage, or hurricane, or how Prime Minister or the ex-Prime Minister or their wives make a fool of themselves - or anything in between - it's just all about the bad-ness in life. I feel doomed reading news.
But since I became one of those early morning risers, I tend to watch the TV3 news update while having my breakfast, and will browse through the topic online later at the office (yes, I have a lot of free time to browse online news) and yes, I still have to deal with bad news. At least, that should remind me to repent before the real doomsday arrives.
Talk about getting up early for work, I never realised that morning can be so peaceful as it is the precise moment that I feel most fulfilled. Ok, fine -- I'm not an early riser -- back then. My Subuh normally would range between 6.50am - 7.10am. Earlier than that, I would choose to just sleep another minute or two (which normally ended up as another hour or two), or later than that, would mean to just sleep till the sun rise. Not a good Muslim - I know.
Anyway, I began to feel the positivity of rising early within this week. I'm widely awake as early as 5.40am, had a morning bath, morning breakfast, and left the house by 6.45am just to avoid the heavy traffic and the guarantee to have the preferred parking spot.
Rising early makes me one happy person. I'm humming even when I did not have the desired parking spot. Still humming when I have to wait for another 30 minutes until somebody else arrives at the office to unlock the office door. Yeah, I do crack sometimes, but most of the time, my mind is filled with positive vibes. Even if I have to park way further than the office building which requires me to walk up the hill towards the office, I tend to see it as something positive -- such as having a good walk of exercise -- in heels. I mean, for someone with high degree of cholesterol like me, I really need that kind of workout to be fit -- and yeah, walking up the hill in heels is not such a good idea, so, I switched to flat wedges this week.
Do you know that being happy makes you feel cold? Not shivering cold - shivering cold means I'm very angry, but being happy is like a peace type of cold. Like a veil being lifted, like breathing a fresh air. It feels like 'morning'. Plain-simple-morning.
Am I an ice queen that I tend to express my emotions with being cold?
On another note -- (let's just deviate for a while from this 'happy' mode) -- somebody seems to forget that I created his Yahoo account and his Facebook account, that I pretty much know how to access through it -- heh, savvy lah katakan.
The thing is, I have no intention what-so-ever to access his email, but when he acted very strangely this morning, it prompted me to check out his email.
You know when people feel guilty, they act very strangely? They tend to shower you with sweet thoughts that they rarely do and knowing that person for a freaking 6 years, you see that as something ultimately strange.
And yes, he did something that should spur my anger, but I'm just in a 'too happy mode' to make a such a big fuss about it. Chatting with some chick named 'Pinawat', exchanging photos, calling other people apart from you as cute -- I mean, ah, what the hell lah. You're getting to a stage where things like that doesn't bug you that much as it used to.
In a way, instead of feeling angry, I'm feeling devious. Experimenting with human behaviour is reallllyyyy an interesting thing to do.
Pinawat... Pinawat... No, Pinawat shall not know anything about me. I'm just experimenting 'human-behaviour-psychology' thing on my boyfriend, that's all. Devious ok, devious...
('m')
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