Letting go America's Next Top Model for Terawih

Credit : flickr.com

I am half-awake for half-of-the-day yesterday.
Half awake while driving to work.
Half awake while walking up the hill.
Half awake while transferring the survey data.
Still half awake as my boss is discussing his updates with me.
And still at the same feeling when the boss reminded me to follow up the overdued phone calls.

And I slept in the surau from 12.30 to 1.45.

And later on I feel so much alive.

But 5 minutes to berbuka, I feel like vomiting and passing out.  This is the second time of the month.  Previously was during my first day of puasa ganti.

Seriously.  I think there's something wrong with my biological system.  I never - i repeat - I never felt like passing out in any puasa before.  Not when I was 5 years old, or 10 years old, or 20 years old!  Not to that extent.  I think that symptom is for sissies.  And now, I am one of the sissies.  It's not like I have to work like angkat batu-bata bawak jentolak kind of thing.  And so, feeling tired is not an excuse at all.

And so I decided that this could be due to too much negative electrons in my body system, and I desperately needed some way to emit it all out.  So, I managed to hold back the worldly temptation of watching ANTM semi finale, and go to Terawih.  Haha, lame excuses.

Quite frankly, aku ni tak religious.  Only God knows the things I did and the things I did is nothing to be proud of.  I wanted to change, but I never really changed.  I wanted to become better, but I never really did anything to make me a better person.

And thus, going to masjid is not one of my interest.  I always avoided going to one everytime my mum asked me to.  Masjid is filled with old people, and when tazkirah session begin, they'll doze off to sleep.  And that TOO is happening to me.

But, admittedly, the ambiance at a masjid has some serene feel to it.  Especially at Ramadhan.  Put aside the bitter truth that people only go to masjid for the 8 rakaat terawih, but performing a jemaah prayer, side-by-side with another Muslim, is like a sense of unity.  Nobody is better than the other no matter how many kerawang you have embroidered to your telekung.  You're not the boss, you're not the genius, you're not some rich folks.  Being there, you're just a Muslim, and that's that.  Your measure is just your iman.  And at that precise thought, you will feel that you are nothing albeit all the worldly achievements you've gained.

So peaceful.  A bit sweaty, yet, very content.
It's a good thing that I let go the ANTMs series.

It was all going great, until adik (my niece) peed in her pants while waiting for me, mak and bibik getting done with the solat witir.
Bummer.
:-))

Next time, she should just stay at home.  Easier access to toilet.  :-)