I spent the entire day cleaning up the messes in my room and my mom's sewing space. The sewing space re-organisation is part of a subliminal gift to my mom, and the room spring cleaning is actually part of the so-called ritual cum preparations to go back to work. I have less than one month to report back to my duty, and I'm feeling -- anxious, excited (maybe), freaked out, worried -- all in one go. Nonetheless, the one and the half year spent on studying actually plays a big part in rejuvenating my motivation and my mind. It feels very refreshing to go back with an achievement that qualifies my spot there. I rather not dwell into the core reasons on why the job makes me feel so screwed-up back then. But I think -- I'm ready to face it, again. I met a whole bunch of new people, and decided to just be neutral and optimist with everyone, regardless of what bullshit they may spat this time. Just let the achievements speak for itself.
Anyway -- spring cleaning will always ended up as you opening up old letters from old friends, old letters to crushes, and the big rusty diary. Diary ---- oh dear diary. Opening up old diaries will spark various emotions. The age where everything is still so pure and genuine. I miss that part of me. Bits and pieces of things that matters most that were forgotten today were rekindled. (It's fortunate that I flipped to the pages that made me smile, not the one that made me frown with headache!) I wrote something about what my mom did at the brink of 3am and it almost brought me to tears. It's the little things that matters most, and it's good to be reminded of it once in a while.
I found a card I wrote for one the the crush I had in high school. Whaaaaaattt??? A card to the crush?? Am I serious? How stupid can I be? Haha. Anyway, when the card which was dedicated to other person ended up with me, simply meant that I didn't send the card to the intended person. (Phewwww... Good thinking, dear self). Anyway, I googled that person and found out that he's already married (the power of internet). Ironically, he got married on my birthday last year. What a coincident. And yeah -- he still looks adorably hot. And -- no, no special feelings involved.
I decided to scrap away the high school yearbook. The one when I was in Form 1 to Form 4. Mainly because all my photos are in black and white, and I can't really remember anything exciting within that time period. I'm the underdog who always ended up getting comments like "the quietest girl in the class". Tell that to Mr B, and he'll laugh hysterically thinking that I made a joke of myself.
I also found my old autograph book and always wonder why the hell do people always fill those pages with "favourite band" or "favourite artiste"? Do I care? Unfortunely -- I did that -- out of reference to other people's format. Haha~ Lame sangat. Anyway, my autograph book is filled with people putting up messages that sounded like "stay cute" or "you are cute" or whatever 'cute' remark. I used to find it very flattering. I mean -- oh, ehem ehem,... When more that two people used that description, well -- I guess, I AM cute... *giddy sey* But then -- looking at my pictures back then, I now realised what they meant by cute. Yeah, I guess, I am "cute" as in cutey-fat type. What a bummer. And I only realised it now? Ok fine -- sebab dah kurus, people don't call you cute anymore, they call you 'kurus'...simply 'kurus' -- walaupun tak ada lah kurus mana.
Anyway -- got to stop now. Will be off the Malacca tomorrow for the next phase of spring cleaning. Will be transferring all those annoying heavy technical books to Malacca. I'm thinking of transferring my full collection of Sidney Sheldon's books there as well -- thinking that 'that' may be my point of solace upon any possible mayhem. And I was like -- really?? To that extent? Well -- maybe next phase, depending on the degree of mayhem that may possibly arrise. Haha.. Till then.
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