"How are you?"

Quite frankly, I cared when you cared.
So, I stopped caring when you stopped asking me a simple "how-are-you" question.
And unfortunately, I became pessimist towards the "how-are-you" questions when next in line are inquiries for a favour.
It made me question the sincerity of the earlier mentioned "how are you".
And if I seem reluctant or hesitant or did not respond whether I wanted to help or not, frankly, it means that I don't feel like helping at all.
Does that make me a bad person?
What if it's the case when one person is being repeatedly promised with unfulfilled promises?
I had bad mojo with unfulfilled promises.  I loathe sweet-talkers.  I despise broken pledge.
Or in this case, not only that it is pertaining to unfulfilled promises, furthermore, it relates to a situation when one person is regarded as the first to look for when in need of a favour, and yet he/she became the last person that crosses the mind when it is the right time to return the favour.
Not that I desperately wanted that favour to be returned.  Yet, I just wanted the promises to be fulfilled.
If it is not being fulfilled, at least, justify it properly.  Don't act like I'm inflicted with Alzheimer or something.
If I can't trust your words, how can I trust you as a person?

Now, you return my delayed response with messages that made me feel bad for not wanting to help.  As if, the course of your action is the result of my reluctance to help.
Do I feel bad?
Unfortunately, no.  I refuse to allow this damaging emotions to disrupt my new-found happiness.  Don't feel bad if I'm too happy with my current state.  I've been hurt long enough that I just don't really care anymore.
Treat me as a person first, not as a back-up system.  I'm done with doing that 'saving you saving me' thing.  I need my own self to be saved now.
.
.
.
When are you going to save me?

notakaki// Watak 'Mawar Khayalan' cuma nampak cantik dalam lagu, it is never that pretty in real life.