Haywired

Have you ever been in a state that you have tons of things to do -- that you can actually settle it one at a time -- and yet you get so stucked and serabut that you ended up not doing anything -- and resort to blogging instead?

Ok fine -- keserabutan aku is not that crucial -- but then, when some stuff interferes with my initial planning, it kinda bugged me in ways that causes me to procrastinate.

Initially the dean has promised that I would not be allocated with any teaching load this semester as part of my speedy prep for PhD. I mean -- hey, I'll be going 3 years away from my hometown, at least give me some space to prepare myself for the upcoming emotional and physical breakdown so that I can settle it all in 3 years -- and not over that duration. I only agreed to a subject that I had taught before so that the materials preparation would not interfere with the research background study that much.

And surprise surprise -- the 'Doc' who are supposed to report back to the faculty by new semester has decided to extend their study period -- which causes me to be allocated to a new subject altogether. A bloody new subject. Laboratory based. Final year students.

Macam crap gila. Rasa macam kena tipu pun ada.

I mean, I haven't took the IELTS test yet and Study Leave Division has been chasing me endlessly for the study leave submission -- and I can't even slot myself to fill any bloody form because I haven't took the IELTS test -- and every week are filled with preparations for the upcoming class. I mean -- it is just for one credit subject, but the preparation took a lot of the free time. 

And the commitment to faculty's activities. Like the camping trip. I mean -- it was fun. Some kind of escapade from this suffocating office space. But then, it is a four days event. It took my weekend that is supposed to be my time to chill back -- AND to prepare for the mid-term lab test. The camp -- albeit as fun as it is -- it interferes with the tugas hakiki thingy. And right now, I'm still cracking my head trying to develop the laboratory test materials. 

And when I think I had it all under control, the Head of Department dropped another bomb telling me that the other lecturer who are supposed to be assisting me for this laboratory subject requested to be excused from any teaching load due to some personal issues that shall not be disclosed further. 

Apajadah.

I am coordinating a laboraty-based subject which is supposed to be covered by 3 lecturers, and when one backed out, we are left with me and the other Professor -- and let me tell you, working with a Professor in Malaysia may not be a fruitful experience as one may think. Well ... maybe other Professors. But just not this one. Dude, he can't even keep a proper filing for his subject and keep on asking me the chapter he's supposed to teach eventhough I've made it clear during the first week of the semester. I mean, collaborating with this particular Professor-- sama aja macam kau buat kerja sorang-sorang sampai ke hujung semester.

And then there's the paper that I need to finish off by last week -- supposedly -- and I blame on the camp -- again.

And then there's the committee work. I am the publication commitee for a 2014 conference organised by the Faculty. I know I'm good with publication jobs, it is displayed through my previous artwork last year -- and they knew it too, and decided to tell me that I have to settle every publication materials by November 2013 -- knowing that I will no longer be around on January 2014. Suka suki je kan.

And other commitee work -- which I have no interest at all to commit due to the many things I have to settle by December.

The teaching semester will end this upcoming December. I'll be married on November. And I'll be flying away this December. And it's OCTOBER already!

Oh, the marriage thing. A day event took months of preparations and headaches and petty arguments with the fiancée. 

So -- you see how haywired life seems these days?