The perk of being pregnant

Albeit that you know at the end of the day, the joy of having a baby with your one true partner is overwhelming and exciting and brings a new definition of love itself -- but the journey of it comes with so many other things that you have to endure.

Seperti kulit perut yang mula merekah -- commonly known at stretch marks. Benda yang digeruni orang perempuan -- because she knows she will never get back the smooth silky skin she used to possess. And stretch marks does not come in one unit alone -- it comes with a package. The itchiness -- and restraining oneself from the powerful urge to scratch your skin with your bare fingers. Sometimes the pain felt upon further stretch, and later on, the development of a 'beautiful' abstract of dark coloured lines and patterns on your tummy.

The extra weight -- that she has to endure just to make sure her baby is comfortable in the womb. And lucky people like me -- extra weight normally blobbed on my cheeks instead of my tummy. 

Not to mention the catastrophe of the first trimester -- endless puking, and sometimes unreasonable appetite. Bayangkan mengidam sup ekor di tengah-tengah bandar Jepun. Am fortunate ada Indonesian restaurant at one part of the town -- eventhough it's not as tasty as I had experienced in M'sia -- but at least, cravings satisfied. Tapi bila balik rumah, muntah. How sad is that?

Towards second trimester, benda-benda pelik lain that mothers-to-be had to endure. Seperti the weird pumping sound of your own heartbeat -- can be heard quite loud and obvious right next to your left ear. It's like somebody is doing the boom-boom-boom thing right next to your head. At times, when you're alone in the silence of your house, it does feel freaky. 

And nose bleed becomes worse within this month. The weather is getting better, but not the nose bleed. And waiting for the blood to dry out so you can perform your prayer is such a challenge. 

And feeling sleepy all the time -- maybe it's a sign of depression -- or maybe I'm just not into this study thingy anymore... I don't know. 

Bentuk badan, emotional eruption, the fear of the pain -- tak payah cakap lah. Penat tanggung sendiri. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul. Sounds simple, tapi you have to experience it to endure the feeling. 

The day that I knew I'm having a baby is the day when everything in my mind changes. I no longer crave for the glory of being abroad. I don't even care about my PhD anymore. I am not a workaholic as I used to be. I procrastinate a lot, get confused even more. Honestly, I just want to drop off everything and be right next to my husband throughout the 9 months. 

The perk of being pregnant -- is that -- you have to let go of so many things just to give a life to another being in you. Your looks. Your beauty. Your energy. Your husband doesn't get to feel all that. 

Just you.