Of nothing

Agak kelakar until visit page in balik... after years of procrastination -- in the sense of blogging.

Deep down -- I missed ranting about my life, my feelings and my emotions.  But I am not that that privilege of doing all that with a baby that needs constant attention from me, with the PhD still going on and heck -- Im not even sure if Im doing it right, and the laboratory stuff yang seringkali buat aku rasa macam an outcast. On weekend keen berperah otak fikir papa yang nap dimasak until suami. I love cooking -- tap in this position, the only thing that I am looking forward to do for every free space is to throw away all those research notes and sleep -- or lay down on the grass of any vast field -- yang ada bunga lavender keliling dia...

Update FB of insta pun sebab feeding baby, and the only thing I can do is scroll through the phone while waiting for Farrell to doze off.

Am not staying up -- since that is the only time of my daily life that I can do my work without the baby persistent need of the mother. Bukanlah aku mengomel mengenai keperluan menjaga anak -- but that:s just how it goes nowadays. Forgive any typo of punctuation errors sebab am still trying to get the fingers tuned to this Japanese keyboard. Should remind myself that purchasing new laptop in Japan is not such a good idea. The language is still a hassle for me.

Love my son a lot. Love this place. But deeply missing hometown. Worried sick of my studies. And I have less than a month to submit a full paper to a conferece -- dan aku masih blue ada any valid result to present.

Worried sick!

Why can't I just be a housewife... Sigh!