Compartmentalising

Random thoughts always linger in my head at the most awkward hour.  Like in my sleep - where I need to rest.  Or during prayer - where I need to focus.  Or in between of reading journal articles - where I should be serious and only think of my research.  And always when I'm alone.  Being alone is actually a bless in the sense that you have ample time to think a lot, reflect the life and the next course of action, and not be affected much by other people's blunders.

I always take a short-(most often long)-break in between of reading articles for my project.  And in between of that break, while taking a glimpse at the green post it notes near the table lamp with funky spherical bulb -- I thought -- wow, I did focused.  Something that is "rare" for a person like me -- especially after the disturbing incident this evening.  I think, I am beginning to learn to 'compartmentalise' my emotions.  

Quite frankly, I can be considered as a person with averted attention-ability (if there's ever such term).  I am easily affected with other people damn-ness and blunders, that I often neglect my main priorities and instead work on something else unrelated in order to 'not' dwell into the emotions that hurt me.  Most often, it involves a lot of sleep, and TV.  I can't really focus with serious stuff because serious stuff requires rapid neurons movement and 'the feel good' thing.  Which explain the delay to the project report.

So, to be able to read technical articles even with a very recent damning emotions -- is actually a progress for me.  In a way, I did visualise that I am compartmentlising my thoughts.  

Dan untuk manusia itu, yang selalu bikin hati aku kusut, kepala aku sakit, jiwa aku huru hara, mata aku bengkak sebab terlebih tido, bateri telefon aku weak dengan sms haramjadah, yang violates my personal rights, and my principals --- you and those damning emotions you inflicted to me is being stashed in a worn brown corrugated box, sealed with a black tape, and stacked at the lowest part of my storage system.

Phewww -- and now -- I can go back to the serious stuff that actually meant something to me, cause I no longer yearn for your undivided concerns and empathy.  Terima kasih, aku rasa macam superwoman.